To the guy carrying death between his lips but never giving it power enough.

Updated: Jul 27, 2020


To Augustus Waters,

With every word, with every glance, with every crooked smile, with every little detail of you, I was drawn closer. That one time, you put the cigarette between your lips, I thought I’d have to forget the thing we had, but then, as usual you caught me unawares as I stared wide eyed. You didn’t smoke, you never did, you kept the lion encaged to keep it from killing you but still you kept it close. You and your metaphors. Honestly, even if you lit that, it wouldn't be easy to pull myself away.

You were this popular guy with a huge fear of oblivion. But why? Even if you couldn't do everything you had in mind, you saved many lives, and that was something you had always wanted, apart from being remembered. I should also tell you, maybe everyone who knew you didn't come around and maybe you were not precious enough for the world, but you must know that for all it is worth, you are loved deeply and I guess you got the only way to escape your fear.

I couldn’t help but smile when you flirted, as if I ever could resist, I smiled at everything you said, your words always made so much sense. And not to forget, your ethereal voice. That may not be the accepted word for it, but for me that is what it was, that is what made my heart skip a beat. I really admired your insistence at doing things yourself even when you couldn’t, I know it broke you, I know you didn’t want it, but you tried Gus, and nothing, literally nothing could take away the respect people had for you. You contained infinity in you. You had the rare capability to listen, to mend someone in a broken world. Long before I knew it, I was in love. Could I help it? No. Did I want to? Again, no.

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